A filmy rosy topic? No it is not. This is the most complicated topic on earth if you ask me.
There is just a thin film between love and dependency. There is no love without dependency , yet ironically it is not love if it is just dependency. I love my parents... I miss them so much , I cannot live without them! Do I love them or am I so dependant on them that I look at them for everything. I'm so close to a dear friend and will have to talk to her everyday. Anything that happens in life - be it a happy or sober incident, I will have to share it with her immediately. Do I love her or am I dependant on her?
The truth is nobody just falls in love with another individual. Probably one might like an individual for what the person is. But love comes up when you feel that the other person is an integral part of your life and life is difficult without the person. This is always associated with an iota of selfishness. Accept, it is dependency - expecting something from the other.
What differentiates real love from dependency is the what you give to the other person and not just expect; how do you react when you don't get what you expect. Do you still love the person ? Yes? Then that is Love!!
Love starts with dependency, but ends soon if it is just dependency ....
Friday, November 28, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Bangalore to Columbus!
Standing at the Bangalore airport on the 16th of September 2008, 5:00 pm, waving a farewell to my parents on the other side of the glass door I thought .. hey I'm going to America.... at the age of 23.. all by myself!! It could be nothing at all in this globalized world.. but to me it was really something .. a dream come true. It is not the hype about visiting the states, but it was a sense of fulfillment that I felt. Being groomed up as a middle class kid, my parents have always inspired me to be my best at anything , go beyond boundaries and do what you can. Making an admit at Anna University, a premier college in my state was an achievement in itself, but then sometimes you loose focus in life despite the fact that you have the best possible faculties. That's what happened to me in college - Being in a best university, a great department with revered and scholarly faculty, I missed the beat - I did not make the best of my four years of undergrad. After my undergrad, I landed at Wipro - not a bad thing , could be a dream for millions of Indian students - but somehow the heavy head in me thought that, I should be doing better than this! But that was the only feasible option and I joined Wipro thinking that I can easily climb up.. But you see Life teaches you so many things.
First year at the company was typically a hell. Being in bench looking for projects, doing designing and what other crap work you find - my GOD!! I was such a good student, why am I doing this.. Finally I found a decent enough project where I could do some technical stuff ( some coding I mean). That is where life hit hard at me and I realized that there are people far better than me , people who do things better. That was the blow that bought me down to earth. I realized that wherever we are there are better people.. its just that you are so dumb you cannot see them. Then my positives took over and went on a learning spree! Being a non comp student, I picked up pretty fast and became a "performer" in my project. Then came the next dream.. "Onsite" - believe me its not about US or money , but it was about performance. Only competent people are sent on an onsite assignment??. Two years at wipro and not been to states!$%^... that raises eyebrows. It could be pretty dumb to give heed to all this, but you always do not think via you brain .. you use mind sometimes do (mostly so!). Then there was this fight.. yes you go.. no you don't go.. people playing swings on me and finally I'm here at the airport.. A pretty big preamble eh? Lets get to the story now!
Tears were caught in my throat .. but I was determined not to cry.. C'mon it was after all for three months and I'm too old to cry..So I said a quick bye to my parents .. so that I do not break drown seeing my mothers face.. With so many instructions and important papers clutched (I'm amazingly adept at loosing things), I went towards the boarding lounge after my check in.
Waiting for the flight from Bangalore to Mumbai .. Jet Airways.. My first flight ever.. butterflies in my stomach! I have always waved to flights from ground as any other kid.. and heard with eyes open about stories of first flight ... but it so happened that my first flight was all alone at 23 and it was across continents for 24 hours!! Thinking about it made me nervous , so I did not .. My First flight was .............LATE. 15 mins.. when it finally came, with bothers about my luggage ... after confirming its safety from the smart help desk guy (I really had to ask :) ) twice I went to board the flight . Flight was a good one.. three in a row. luckily my row had just one more passenger. I was trying to make the best out of my first experience.. wow.. every seat had a video screen .. you could see movies, get flight info , magazines, they offered me a welcome drink. Then.. there were also safety manuals.. about seat belts, about where life belts were kept and what are you supposed to do when you crash into water ..what yes.. "water"!$#@@#@#.. ok .. butterflies again. So bad there was nobody near me to tell everything is alright.. but that is the precise truth of life.. YOU ARE ALONE..
Ok seat belts on and here I start off.. zoom .. it was a good experience.. like a ride at wonderla.. hmm I was airborne and the commentary from the cockpit kept me on..Hey I could see clouds ..I got the window seat. Is this called being among the clouds?. It was beautiful to watch.. Such is human mind that I got bored after sometime .. there comes the airhostess with a nice chocolate cake and a drink.. cool.. then i started browsing through the movies. Time to land! it was a short flight of 1 and half hours.. While landing it was dark.. 7:30 .. Captain was telling us that there was a turbulent weather ahead!.. oh cool, my first flight, I thought, I reminded to myself that I was the only daughter to my parents .. Guess GOD heard that and we landed safely in Mumbai. I have never been to Mumbai and of course though I was at Mumbai now, it was not much of a use.
I came out of the domestic airport, people were collecting luggage . I did not know what to do..I was told mine would be direct check in to Columbus.. Was wandering here and there till I finally marshaled up guts and asked an airways staff, who directed me to a help desk and who said that I was about to miss the bus to the international airport... lo... run .. the bus was there and with it were a few faces I had seen at the plane.. good so far.. It was raining heavily and I was trying to catch as much of Mumbai I could in the dark ride for 15 mins.. Reached the International airport!
Delta Airways was supposed to carry me to the states.. but my luggage.. No clue. Thankfully the signs guided me well and I stood at a queue that I thought was for my flight .. Two airport staffs (smart again -good thing about air travel) came to ask about my luggage.. after my explanations I was told that I had to wait for the luggage, identify it and then check in., Okey lets wait. Meantime I called my parents to tell them I was in Mumbai safely .They wanted me to call again .. tensed as I was.. barked at them saying I'll try ..poor them. Finally there comes a trolley with something that looks like my bag, after an hour . got it..
I was checking in ,the luggage.. the same smart guys again .. but this time he was asking me what I had in my bag... Explosives? Sharp Items? Living organisms? Liquids? C'mon why should I have them,, or so would anyone say an yes if he/she has one - poor joke.. watched my bags disappear into the trolley . Gave my ticket to the airport staff and was waiting for my boarding pass - As such I was not very confident about my ticket. Wipro booked it for me and it was just a piece of paper.. When the airport staff stared at the paper and monitor more than twice my adrenaline levels shot up.. Then she said something was wrong.. My GOD ..she called someone over the phone for technical help.. he was busy .. damn him .. Then there was another guy who came pressed some keys and gave me the boarding pass.. with a smiley "Sorry to have you waiting mam!" .. Sorry ??man .. I was having a mild heart attack.. It was just 10 and my flight was at 12:30 .Ha I had sooo much time. So thinking about my poor parents, I called them again and gave an elaborate report of my first flight.. Clearing all their doubts and putting their worries to rest I hung up and was thinking how to pass my time when one of the officials said that I had to do my immigration and had no time to waste.. ooh I didn't know that .. I thought immigration was only at US.. Then I understood the funda that it has to be done whenever you leave or enter a country.. Ok then I filled the form waited in the queue!.
There was a tamil guy before me who was questioned pretty roughly by the airport officials.. why the heck I was already naive(believe it) .. mine went smoothly though.. and I got my passport stamped.. I have officially left India... Went to wait for the flight to US.. I found another girl from Wipro and was talking to her .. good for some company I really cannot keep my mouth shut.. It was 11.. ok I had some more time..I thought I'll go have something to eat and to the rest room .. When I came out of the rest room my flight lounge showed boarding !! So soon!! - Run!! .. only to have the security telling me that they were boarding disabled people first .. With a sheepish grin I came back.Then I decided against my snack plans and sat again.. They started boarding according to zones and mine took time to come. Finally I started towards the flight and had a cabin luggage check .. A pretty looking female there told me I cannot carry liquids greater than 200 ml and threw away my brand new Nivea moisturizer .. 200 bucks :( Fine toward the flight . Hey here I had foreigners welcoming me aboard.., Angrazi log finally :)
Looked around the big plane.. I knew no one...I crossed the business class to reach my economy,the business class was cool. Ok one should be contented. Seats were 4 + 4 + 3.. I was in the middle row on the extreme right .. Was wondering who would sit besides me .. looking eagerly at every passenger only to find that it was no one.. Ok the positive side of I had four seats for myself at a cost for one ( I did not even pay for that one!)...
Same here, a video screen for each screen , a cozy blanket (four infact).. eye blinds and ear phones. Ok get set go. The Air hostess was smart lady, there was a guy flirting with her.. No guys though. All the guys were oldies. But it looked good to See captain and crew in uniforms, gave me goosebumps for no specific reason. Then the captain introduced himself, repetition of the safety instructions, The water thing gave me more jitters as it was more relevant now, I was actually going fly over seas. Now I started cursing myself for not learning how to swim - as though that would a made a difference! Started off again .. crossing the borders first time in my life outside my lovely India.. I remember one of my managers advising that one best way to avoid the jet lag was to have a peg and sleep through the entire journey.. So I was determined to avoid jet lag (minus the peg :)) If you are excited there are some hormones that would not let you sleep, those chemicals were disturbing me, So I opened a novel (Robin cook) I had with me. At any other time I would have finished such a through in a sitting, but then no .. I put it down . Ok best thing to do .. I had an idiot box in front of me . There was a menu option that gave the flight info .. Opened it it said outside ait temperature - 37F ..grrr.. What an invention I'm in heights and in freezing skies , yet so comfortable inside - thanks to the Wright brothers. There was graphical representation showing where the flight. I clicked on it . Wait a minute there was nothing beneath my flight , land was far away, we were flying above the Ocean.. I just visualized that in my mind's eye for a second... My GOD the height and vast expanse of water.. all my reverence for the Wright brothers plummeted. Sometimes its easier to cross the roads eyes closed - so I decided not to think about where I was . Looked for the a movie that would test my patience - ah.. here it is - 10,000bc .. so that I would sleep soon. No I watched the crap movie till the end. Then came the air hostess with dinner - wow - Asian vegetarian. Wait a minute was that a Roti??? . oh ok ..Fine something edible. Then came a trolley with something to drink - Too embarrassed to as what was what , I chose something . After she poured something into the glass and turned away, I had a brilliant doubt - Was it non - alcoholic?? I had to call her over to clear my major doubt. She laughed it away and said it was ginger ale- whatever, it was good.
Now after the dinner my tiredness swept over my endorphins and I slept for a good 7 hours. Such a deep sleep it was that I had lost my earrings somewhere. When I realized this, I started searching all over the seat and beneath, people gave me weird looks. After quite an effort I ditched my attempt (it was not gold- Now I can give a reason to my mom when she asks why I never wear gold!). Movie again , I would navigate now and then over to the graphical map only to realize that we always flew over waters.. I remembered my geography teacher telling me that 3/4 of the globe is covered with water.
Slept again, book for sometime. Now and then we would have announcements to wear seat belt as we were taxiing ( I thought we were flying ?? - bad one eh?) I had to use the restroom . Ok made an attempt to get up. Ok there was wash basin , but how do you push the tap.After 2 mins of research I understood I was not competitive enough for that task and returned back to the seat.. Then we had breakfast being served. We were approaching New York and I filled up the immigration form . We had quite a hype about the immigration interview at wipro and had a half an hour session on the do's and dont's - I was quite apprehensive about it!
The captain taxied around the the NY airport to find the right time for landing - I found my earring in the meanwhile!
Landed finally, after a 16 hour journey - New York - JFK Airport!
Once out, still sleeping went to the counter I was directed to. There was a security shouting at the person before me., as he had filled the immigration form( He said - you had 16 hours and could no do it - wow I could understand his English) - I thought Americans were friendly !Thankfully I had filled it. I went to my counter. He said Good Morning - rather I said- he acknowledged. He took my passport and stamped it.. I was waiting here for the "tough immigration questions" and he said a thank you !
I wanted to ask him if he had nothing to ask me, but thought the better of it and left the counter .I was beginning to doubt if this was the immigration, but I had the I94 with me, so I was officially in US. There was no customs, no one bothered to check my luggage and the domestic airport was walkable from the international terminal, So I happily reached the place where I had to board my domestic flight to Columbus. I had 3 hours to go. I was desperately trying to convert timings from my wrist watch that was still showing IST - my lucky, favorite and costly Fasttrack watch's time adjuster just refused to move - ended up breaking two of my nails trying to adjust all along the international flight So I had to do minus 12 and half hours every time I looked at it. Believe it or not I just could not find any clock, the whole of the airport. Apprehensive me kept checking other peoples watches (Heard stories of people sitting in the airport and missing flights.) A irritating co - passenger , was playing loud Hindi songs in NY airport ,inviting smirks me too as I was seated besides him. But then, when he offered his mobile to make a call to my colleague whom I was to meet in Columbus, he turned out to be a nice guy!!!
How can it be that it could be such a bon voyage?? My NY to Columbus flight was late by half an hour, I was dead tired by then .. I literally mean it! When I finally reached the flight (via a bus, in other boarding areas till now the flight was reachable by a connector) the flight was so so small. Just 13 seats (2 +1) and mine was the 13th with the smelly laotatory behind me. I was on the tail of the aircraft. Again the take off...phew this time I had lost my patience.. I just couldn't take it anymore and wanted steady ground. This was the worst of the journey- It being a small plane and me on the tail end I felt the airsickness after 20 hours of journey! The plane was almost shaking and me too, inside it. I was really thankful when it finally landed in Columbus.
I wearily asked where to collect my luggage and was waiting for it.. there it was safe and sound.
Columbus Airport turned out to be a small one. There was guy asking me if I need help with my luggage; just 2 $ he said. Ha 2$- 100 rupees I wouldn't dream of it .. the calculating Indian mentality. There was a a set of trolleys there.. here I thought .. why would I require you when I can use a trolley.. All this running through mind I just smiled to say a no to him. I tried pulling a trolley.. whaaa it wouldn't come out.. once again all my might .. it still did not !? There must be something wrong.. then the same guy pointed out that I had to insert coins for a trolley - What, I did not have coins even if I wanted to. I managed an awkward smile and pushed my bags by my own. What an irony - when we were using the trolleys in the Bangalore airport, my dad had asked me how I would transport my luggage to the taxi in US.. And I had given him a smug look to say.. "If there are trolleys in Indian airports there definitely would be one in US". Mother India I love you !!!
Finally I got into a cab, the driver was a friendly guy who exchanged formal greetings with me and gave me his mobile to call my colleague again. The person who was supposed to be waiting for me in his house had an important meeting..grr and another of my friend would wait for me there! The cab reached the house.. I went in front of the door and was frantically searching for the doorbell .. where was it??? The driver came behind me and said I had to knock . oh yeah?? I did not know that. I knocked .. no response.. oh my GOD.. Am I at the right place.. what was I supposed to do.. Driver to my rescue again - I called my colleagues again .. they were on their way !!.. I had to let go the cab driver , after paying his bill of course...There I was standing in front of a house .. all alone..no mobile, not even knowing if it was the right place!! It took 10 really long minutes with me peering at every single car that whizzed past. When I finally saw a car pulling into a parking lot nearby and my friend getting out. I was relieved and happy to see her! They let me in and my good friend sacrificed her lunch for me. It was 12 in noon. They left me to freshen up and sleep while they headed back to the office. I had to do a bit of a research on the bathroom to freshen up.. tried rummaging through the entire kitchen to find a plate.. but couldn't.. so ended up eating from the lunch box.
After a sumptuous meal - keera kolumbu and potato curry, my first meal in US.. imagine it .. when people say food is an issue for Indian, there was an inviting couch !
I sat on it .. phew I just went inside it .. that was the last thing I knew.. snoreeeeeeeeee!!!!
First year at the company was typically a hell. Being in bench looking for projects, doing designing and what other crap work you find - my GOD!! I was such a good student, why am I doing this.. Finally I found a decent enough project where I could do some technical stuff ( some coding I mean). That is where life hit hard at me and I realized that there are people far better than me , people who do things better. That was the blow that bought me down to earth. I realized that wherever we are there are better people.. its just that you are so dumb you cannot see them. Then my positives took over and went on a learning spree! Being a non comp student, I picked up pretty fast and became a "performer" in my project. Then came the next dream.. "Onsite" - believe me its not about US or money , but it was about performance. Only competent people are sent on an onsite assignment??. Two years at wipro and not been to states!$%^... that raises eyebrows. It could be pretty dumb to give heed to all this, but you always do not think via you brain .. you use mind sometimes do (mostly so!). Then there was this fight.. yes you go.. no you don't go.. people playing swings on me and finally I'm here at the airport.. A pretty big preamble eh? Lets get to the story now!
Tears were caught in my throat .. but I was determined not to cry.. C'mon it was after all for three months and I'm too old to cry..So I said a quick bye to my parents .. so that I do not break drown seeing my mothers face.. With so many instructions and important papers clutched (I'm amazingly adept at loosing things), I went towards the boarding lounge after my check in.
Waiting for the flight from Bangalore to Mumbai .. Jet Airways.. My first flight ever.. butterflies in my stomach! I have always waved to flights from ground as any other kid.. and heard with eyes open about stories of first flight ... but it so happened that my first flight was all alone at 23 and it was across continents for 24 hours!! Thinking about it made me nervous , so I did not .. My First flight was .............LATE. 15 mins.. when it finally came, with bothers about my luggage ... after confirming its safety from the smart help desk guy (I really had to ask :) ) twice I went to board the flight . Flight was a good one.. three in a row. luckily my row had just one more passenger. I was trying to make the best out of my first experience.. wow.. every seat had a video screen .. you could see movies, get flight info , magazines, they offered me a welcome drink. Then.. there were also safety manuals.. about seat belts, about where life belts were kept and what are you supposed to do when you crash into water ..what yes.. "water"!$#@@#@#.. ok .. butterflies again. So bad there was nobody near me to tell everything is alright.. but that is the precise truth of life.. YOU ARE ALONE..
Ok seat belts on and here I start off.. zoom .. it was a good experience.. like a ride at wonderla.. hmm I was airborne and the commentary from the cockpit kept me on..Hey I could see clouds ..I got the window seat. Is this called being among the clouds?. It was beautiful to watch.. Such is human mind that I got bored after sometime .. there comes the airhostess with a nice chocolate cake and a drink.. cool.. then i started browsing through the movies. Time to land! it was a short flight of 1 and half hours.. While landing it was dark.. 7:30 .. Captain was telling us that there was a turbulent weather ahead!.. oh cool, my first flight, I thought, I reminded to myself that I was the only daughter to my parents .. Guess GOD heard that and we landed safely in Mumbai. I have never been to Mumbai and of course though I was at Mumbai now, it was not much of a use.
I came out of the domestic airport, people were collecting luggage . I did not know what to do..I was told mine would be direct check in to Columbus.. Was wandering here and there till I finally marshaled up guts and asked an airways staff, who directed me to a help desk and who said that I was about to miss the bus to the international airport... lo... run .. the bus was there and with it were a few faces I had seen at the plane.. good so far.. It was raining heavily and I was trying to catch as much of Mumbai I could in the dark ride for 15 mins.. Reached the International airport!
Delta Airways was supposed to carry me to the states.. but my luggage.. No clue. Thankfully the signs guided me well and I stood at a queue that I thought was for my flight .. Two airport staffs (smart again -good thing about air travel) came to ask about my luggage.. after my explanations I was told that I had to wait for the luggage, identify it and then check in., Okey lets wait. Meantime I called my parents to tell them I was in Mumbai safely .They wanted me to call again .. tensed as I was.. barked at them saying I'll try ..poor them. Finally there comes a trolley with something that looks like my bag, after an hour . got it..
I was checking in ,the luggage.. the same smart guys again .. but this time he was asking me what I had in my bag... Explosives? Sharp Items? Living organisms? Liquids? C'mon why should I have them,, or so would anyone say an yes if he/she has one - poor joke.. watched my bags disappear into the trolley . Gave my ticket to the airport staff and was waiting for my boarding pass - As such I was not very confident about my ticket. Wipro booked it for me and it was just a piece of paper.. When the airport staff stared at the paper and monitor more than twice my adrenaline levels shot up.. Then she said something was wrong.. My GOD ..she called someone over the phone for technical help.. he was busy .. damn him .. Then there was another guy who came pressed some keys and gave me the boarding pass.. with a smiley "Sorry to have you waiting mam!" .. Sorry ??man .. I was having a mild heart attack.. It was just 10 and my flight was at 12:30 .Ha I had sooo much time. So thinking about my poor parents, I called them again and gave an elaborate report of my first flight.. Clearing all their doubts and putting their worries to rest I hung up and was thinking how to pass my time when one of the officials said that I had to do my immigration and had no time to waste.. ooh I didn't know that .. I thought immigration was only at US.. Then I understood the funda that it has to be done whenever you leave or enter a country.. Ok then I filled the form waited in the queue!.
There was a tamil guy before me who was questioned pretty roughly by the airport officials.. why the heck I was already naive(believe it) .. mine went smoothly though.. and I got my passport stamped.. I have officially left India... Went to wait for the flight to US.. I found another girl from Wipro and was talking to her .. good for some company I really cannot keep my mouth shut.. It was 11.. ok I had some more time..I thought I'll go have something to eat and to the rest room .. When I came out of the rest room my flight lounge showed boarding !! So soon!! - Run!! .. only to have the security telling me that they were boarding disabled people first .. With a sheepish grin I came back.Then I decided against my snack plans and sat again.. They started boarding according to zones and mine took time to come. Finally I started towards the flight and had a cabin luggage check .. A pretty looking female there told me I cannot carry liquids greater than 200 ml and threw away my brand new Nivea moisturizer .. 200 bucks :( Fine toward the flight . Hey here I had foreigners welcoming me aboard.., Angrazi log finally :)
Looked around the big plane.. I knew no one...I crossed the business class to reach my economy,the business class was cool. Ok one should be contented. Seats were 4 + 4 + 3.. I was in the middle row on the extreme right .. Was wondering who would sit besides me .. looking eagerly at every passenger only to find that it was no one.. Ok the positive side of I had four seats for myself at a cost for one ( I did not even pay for that one!)...
Same here, a video screen for each screen , a cozy blanket (four infact).. eye blinds and ear phones. Ok get set go. The Air hostess was smart lady, there was a guy flirting with her.. No guys though. All the guys were oldies. But it looked good to See captain and crew in uniforms, gave me goosebumps for no specific reason. Then the captain introduced himself, repetition of the safety instructions, The water thing gave me more jitters as it was more relevant now, I was actually going fly over seas. Now I started cursing myself for not learning how to swim - as though that would a made a difference! Started off again .. crossing the borders first time in my life outside my lovely India.. I remember one of my managers advising that one best way to avoid the jet lag was to have a peg and sleep through the entire journey.. So I was determined to avoid jet lag (minus the peg :)) If you are excited there are some hormones that would not let you sleep, those chemicals were disturbing me, So I opened a novel (Robin cook) I had with me. At any other time I would have finished such a through in a sitting, but then no .. I put it down . Ok best thing to do .. I had an idiot box in front of me . There was a menu option that gave the flight info .. Opened it it said outside ait temperature - 37F ..grrr.. What an invention I'm in heights and in freezing skies , yet so comfortable inside - thanks to the Wright brothers. There was graphical representation showing where the flight. I clicked on it . Wait a minute there was nothing beneath my flight , land was far away, we were flying above the Ocean.. I just visualized that in my mind's eye for a second... My GOD the height and vast expanse of water.. all my reverence for the Wright brothers plummeted. Sometimes its easier to cross the roads eyes closed - so I decided not to think about where I was . Looked for the a movie that would test my patience - ah.. here it is - 10,000bc .. so that I would sleep soon. No I watched the crap movie till the end. Then came the air hostess with dinner - wow - Asian vegetarian. Wait a minute was that a Roti??? . oh ok ..Fine something edible. Then came a trolley with something to drink - Too embarrassed to as what was what , I chose something . After she poured something into the glass and turned away, I had a brilliant doubt - Was it non - alcoholic?? I had to call her over to clear my major doubt. She laughed it away and said it was ginger ale- whatever, it was good.
Now after the dinner my tiredness swept over my endorphins and I slept for a good 7 hours. Such a deep sleep it was that I had lost my earrings somewhere. When I realized this, I started searching all over the seat and beneath, people gave me weird looks. After quite an effort I ditched my attempt (it was not gold- Now I can give a reason to my mom when she asks why I never wear gold!). Movie again , I would navigate now and then over to the graphical map only to realize that we always flew over waters.. I remembered my geography teacher telling me that 3/4 of the globe is covered with water.
Slept again, book for sometime. Now and then we would have announcements to wear seat belt as we were taxiing ( I thought we were flying ?? - bad one eh?) I had to use the restroom . Ok made an attempt to get up. Ok there was wash basin , but how do you push the tap.After 2 mins of research I understood I was not competitive enough for that task and returned back to the seat.. Then we had breakfast being served. We were approaching New York and I filled up the immigration form . We had quite a hype about the immigration interview at wipro and had a half an hour session on the do's and dont's - I was quite apprehensive about it!
The captain taxied around the the NY airport to find the right time for landing - I found my earring in the meanwhile!
Landed finally, after a 16 hour journey - New York - JFK Airport!
Once out, still sleeping went to the counter I was directed to. There was a security shouting at the person before me., as he had filled the immigration form( He said - you had 16 hours and could no do it - wow I could understand his English) - I thought Americans were friendly !Thankfully I had filled it. I went to my counter. He said Good Morning - rather I said- he acknowledged. He took my passport and stamped it.. I was waiting here for the "tough immigration questions" and he said a thank you !
I wanted to ask him if he had nothing to ask me, but thought the better of it and left the counter .I was beginning to doubt if this was the immigration, but I had the I94 with me, so I was officially in US. There was no customs, no one bothered to check my luggage and the domestic airport was walkable from the international terminal, So I happily reached the place where I had to board my domestic flight to Columbus. I had 3 hours to go. I was desperately trying to convert timings from my wrist watch that was still showing IST - my lucky, favorite and costly Fasttrack watch's time adjuster just refused to move - ended up breaking two of my nails trying to adjust all along the international flight So I had to do minus 12 and half hours every time I looked at it. Believe it or not I just could not find any clock, the whole of the airport. Apprehensive me kept checking other peoples watches (Heard stories of people sitting in the airport and missing flights.) A irritating co - passenger , was playing loud Hindi songs in NY airport ,inviting smirks me too as I was seated besides him. But then, when he offered his mobile to make a call to my colleague whom I was to meet in Columbus, he turned out to be a nice guy!!!
How can it be that it could be such a bon voyage?? My NY to Columbus flight was late by half an hour, I was dead tired by then .. I literally mean it! When I finally reached the flight (via a bus, in other boarding areas till now the flight was reachable by a connector) the flight was so so small. Just 13 seats (2 +1) and mine was the 13th with the smelly laotatory behind me. I was on the tail of the aircraft. Again the take off...phew this time I had lost my patience.. I just couldn't take it anymore and wanted steady ground. This was the worst of the journey- It being a small plane and me on the tail end I felt the airsickness after 20 hours of journey! The plane was almost shaking and me too, inside it. I was really thankful when it finally landed in Columbus.
I wearily asked where to collect my luggage and was waiting for it.. there it was safe and sound.
Columbus Airport turned out to be a small one. There was guy asking me if I need help with my luggage; just 2 $ he said. Ha 2$- 100 rupees I wouldn't dream of it .. the calculating Indian mentality. There was a a set of trolleys there.. here I thought .. why would I require you when I can use a trolley.. All this running through mind I just smiled to say a no to him. I tried pulling a trolley.. whaaa it wouldn't come out.. once again all my might .. it still did not !? There must be something wrong.. then the same guy pointed out that I had to insert coins for a trolley - What, I did not have coins even if I wanted to. I managed an awkward smile and pushed my bags by my own. What an irony - when we were using the trolleys in the Bangalore airport, my dad had asked me how I would transport my luggage to the taxi in US.. And I had given him a smug look to say.. "If there are trolleys in Indian airports there definitely would be one in US". Mother India I love you !!!
Finally I got into a cab, the driver was a friendly guy who exchanged formal greetings with me and gave me his mobile to call my colleague again. The person who was supposed to be waiting for me in his house had an important meeting..grr and another of my friend would wait for me there! The cab reached the house.. I went in front of the door and was frantically searching for the doorbell .. where was it??? The driver came behind me and said I had to knock . oh yeah?? I did not know that. I knocked .. no response.. oh my GOD.. Am I at the right place.. what was I supposed to do.. Driver to my rescue again - I called my colleagues again .. they were on their way !!.. I had to let go the cab driver , after paying his bill of course...There I was standing in front of a house .. all alone..no mobile, not even knowing if it was the right place!! It took 10 really long minutes with me peering at every single car that whizzed past. When I finally saw a car pulling into a parking lot nearby and my friend getting out. I was relieved and happy to see her! They let me in and my good friend sacrificed her lunch for me. It was 12 in noon. They left me to freshen up and sleep while they headed back to the office. I had to do a bit of a research on the bathroom to freshen up.. tried rummaging through the entire kitchen to find a plate.. but couldn't.. so ended up eating from the lunch box.
After a sumptuous meal - keera kolumbu and potato curry, my first meal in US.. imagine it .. when people say food is an issue for Indian, there was an inviting couch !
I sat on it .. phew I just went inside it .. that was the last thing I knew.. snoreeeeeeeeee!!!!
Friday, August 22, 2008
A family tour!
Had been on a family tour last week. Now let me clarify what I mean by family ( can mean anything). Not talking about the nuclear family of dad, mom and kids... I'm talking essesntially about generations... Grandparents... uncles & aunties.. cousins and even nephews... We were 14 of them cramped in a 9 seater visiting the most boring of the places ( temples - pilgrimage you can call it) in the scortching heat of south TamilNadu. But those were among the best three days I ever had. What fun it was to try to push each other around and try to sleep on each other..
To watch grannies cribbing at one corner about in -laws just round the other corner... eating together.. fighting with cousins for silly stuff.... playing anthakshari- if you can call it that we were actually shouting on top of our voices.. seeing elders relaxing .. coming out of their potrayed image and actually becoming kids.
Despite all the grudges that is essentially there, especially in a family as big as mine! it gives you a sense of security to know that you actually have such a family to care for you. I cannot describe the feeling of gratitude that I had when the entire 14 rushed and clogged around my dad when he hit himself : somewhere somehow in the sea in thiruchendur while having his sacred bath.. god knows how he managed to do it in a vast nothingness... ( He claims it was my curse). Blood was pouring down his nose and my adrenaline pumped upto great levels. But the sincerity I saw in those 14 faces washed away my panic ... I knew that they would take care. I realized what it means to be in such an Indian family. Who said family bonds no longer exists?????
To watch grannies cribbing at one corner about in -laws just round the other corner... eating together.. fighting with cousins for silly stuff.... playing anthakshari- if you can call it that we were actually shouting on top of our voices.. seeing elders relaxing .. coming out of their potrayed image and actually becoming kids.
Despite all the grudges that is essentially there, especially in a family as big as mine! it gives you a sense of security to know that you actually have such a family to care for you. I cannot describe the feeling of gratitude that I had when the entire 14 rushed and clogged around my dad when he hit himself : somewhere somehow in the sea in thiruchendur while having his sacred bath.. god knows how he managed to do it in a vast nothingness... ( He claims it was my curse). Blood was pouring down his nose and my adrenaline pumped upto great levels. But the sincerity I saw in those 14 faces washed away my panic ... I knew that they would take care. I realized what it means to be in such an Indian family. Who said family bonds no longer exists?????
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Friendship and Love
These are two words that would make a lot of differences to anybodies life.. in fact it is life!
To love and to be loved... is the best thing in life and that is what differentiates humans from other life forms.
The relationship between parents and kids is something that I awe about and treasure. Unconditional love .. with no expectations at all, is only from parents to kid. They would do anything for their kids ..their life revolves around their children and they think about nothing else. This could be pretty injurious to kids unless shown in the appropriate manner. which most parents are clear about .. at least mine are :) Parents show the right path, but never force us in the same and allow us to make our decisions on our own. They are supportive but let us learn things the way they should be. They advice and keep reminding us what are responsibilities and duties are but never do they demand. They always put our dreams and aspirations before theirs. What a selfless love.. This can be only from parents.
Friends..the word brings smile to my lips. They are the essence of life. You reach one point of time in life where you cannot burden your parents with all your insecurities and moods; c'mon it means you have grown up now and you are supposed to do, what they have been doing all their life : its our turn to support them morally and financially. But then nobody is ever grown up completely and we do sometimes look around for emotional support... and where else but to friends. One should be really lucky to have a dependable set of good friends or even a single person to whom you can look toward unconditionally for support. It is not just about consoling : anybody can give you sympathy.... but about discussing the issue and looking at tackling the problem as it were theirs. I am blessed with this.
There goes a story like this : A father and son were walking across the bridge without a railing over a overflowing river gushing down ferociously. The dad asked the son to be careful and hold his hands. But the son asked the dad to hold his hands. The father was baffled and questioned the kid on what difference it makes whether he holds the kid's hand or the kid does. the son explained that if I hold your hand i might lose the grip..but if you hold my hand I'm sure that you will not lose me!. What a stunning lesson (Courtesy Frozen Thoughts).. If you love someone you hold on to them and do not expect them to hold on to you. That is love that is life according to me.
To love and to be loved... is the best thing in life and that is what differentiates humans from other life forms.
The relationship between parents and kids is something that I awe about and treasure. Unconditional love .. with no expectations at all, is only from parents to kid. They would do anything for their kids ..their life revolves around their children and they think about nothing else. This could be pretty injurious to kids unless shown in the appropriate manner. which most parents are clear about .. at least mine are :) Parents show the right path, but never force us in the same and allow us to make our decisions on our own. They are supportive but let us learn things the way they should be. They advice and keep reminding us what are responsibilities and duties are but never do they demand. They always put our dreams and aspirations before theirs. What a selfless love.. This can be only from parents.
Friends..the word brings smile to my lips. They are the essence of life. You reach one point of time in life where you cannot burden your parents with all your insecurities and moods; c'mon it means you have grown up now and you are supposed to do, what they have been doing all their life : its our turn to support them morally and financially. But then nobody is ever grown up completely and we do sometimes look around for emotional support... and where else but to friends. One should be really lucky to have a dependable set of good friends or even a single person to whom you can look toward unconditionally for support. It is not just about consoling : anybody can give you sympathy.... but about discussing the issue and looking at tackling the problem as it were theirs. I am blessed with this.
There goes a story like this : A father and son were walking across the bridge without a railing over a overflowing river gushing down ferociously. The dad asked the son to be careful and hold his hands. But the son asked the dad to hold his hands. The father was baffled and questioned the kid on what difference it makes whether he holds the kid's hand or the kid does. the son explained that if I hold your hand i might lose the grip..but if you hold my hand I'm sure that you will not lose me!. What a stunning lesson (Courtesy Frozen Thoughts).. If you love someone you hold on to them and do not expect them to hold on to you. That is love that is life according to me.
Monday, May 19, 2008
20 Something.??
Life is at its best at ones childhood! The greatest deadline would be that one has to assemble in the palyground at sharp four; the hardest thing to do would be the slush down the glass of milk your mom forces upon you down the sink; the greatest disappointment would be to find the ball you very much wanted during shopping yesterday so vehemently oppposed by your dad under your worst enemies foot... But as one would slowly realise growing up is inevitable an you end up in high school. People who pass by you on the roads: who rarely know you stop by to reminding themselves (or you) that you are in your crucial stage in life and this exam is going to "make or break your life": not to mention the apprehension faced by our parents (cables on TV's g off, no outings). Finally that is gone by and you end up in a so called prestigious academic institution only to realise that you are expected to study harder.But the recklessness of your age takes over and you realise (or is it believe?) that "this is the age to enjoy". New found freedom, friends and you are on top of the world. A few studs in college do remind you often what you are there for, especially during the semester end. I can bet that only an Indian engineering student can even think about completing an arduous task of skimming through ( get it clear studying, not even reading) 20 to 40 chapters of a complex subject whose title in itself doesnt make the slightest of sense.. Yet scrap through the exams and come out as a bachelor of engineering ; And yes probably I should include that we as engineers have some practical knowledge and look at academics as a way to learn and not read though me make a comedy out of exams :) . All this set and done out of college with full of dreams and aspirations we start pursuing our careers hoping to put our brains into proper use!
Lucky few or probably determined and clear few get to pursue what they would like to be it higher studies or a job profile that would motivate one. But most of 2000's engineers end up at the big software giants (nicknamed as bus companies by us) dreaming of the day of leaving the company the day you enter it! Even then we are determined to put our heart and soul into it and give our best to it (ofcourse for the sake of appraisals and onsite trips :)). Not to forget the concept of bench ! In IT it is always either too much of work or no work at all, both of which are highly irritating and demotivating. But days to pass by and comes the next inevitable thing .. Marriage.. sooner so for girls...
Myriad of things confuse us at this point of time in life... career, studies, marriage, meaning of life.. what not ? But we also do realize that this is the "Golden period" of or life. Not too much of responsibilities.. great friends... do whatever you wanna do (no strings attached!).. How one uses this and shape ones life is at ones own disposal.
So get set to take this phase as it is and get the most out of it !
Myriad of things confuse us at this point of time in life... career, studies, marriage, meaning of life.. what not ? But we also do realize that this is the "Golden period" of or life. Not too much of responsibilities.. great friends... do whatever you wanna do (no strings attached!).. How one uses this and shape ones life is at ones own disposal.
So get set to take this phase as it is and get the most out of it !
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